Raising a fish troll
by Conanyaoi
Summary: Late one cold winters night Karkat brings Sollux a strange looking fish and needs him to help keep it a secret from Equius. Main pairings: Solloux/Eridan Karkat/John Mituna/Kankri (humanstuck)
1. Getting a fish troll

**CHAPTER ONE: Karkat's surprise **

It's around midnight as Sollux shuts his laptop and stretches getting ready to end the day, he rubs his tired red and blue eyes with a yawn at least it's finally Christmas break so the seventeen year old doesn't have to worry about classes for the time being. Not that he needed to worry next to Karkat he was one of the top students, although Karkat was only a straight A student because both his parents are teachers. Which Sollux had to admit it must be pure hell with his fathers speeches about equal rights, which Karkat blames for him being gay, and his mothers strict policy on chores and homework he could understand why Karkat was angry all the time. Karkat wasn't the best son not that he was bad or did illegal things but he always sneaks out late at night or anytime he feels, he'll leave class mainly because he's heard it all before. Just as Sollux starts heading for his room there's a knock at his door he turns to walk over there but the door swings opens and the short shivering teen walks in, speak of the devil and he shall arrive.

"Holy thhit, KK, it'th fucking freething out there! Where the fuck'th your coat?!" The albino teen sneers at him clinching what looks like a bowl to his chest.

"Sh-shut your fucking mouth... fuck it's cold..." Sollux walks over to his friend, he couldn't help but always think Karkat had a sore throat 24/7, if he yells for too long he loses his voice although Sollux was grateful for the silence.

"Thit the fuck down, damn you're freething, I'll go get you a blanket." He says guiding him to the couch.

"No, no it's fine... fuck. I need you to do me a huge favor..." Karkat looks away as he speaks, this confuses Sollux since he's not the bashful type hell no one in the Vantas family is shy. Kanaya was always helpful but is never afraid to speak her mind, Kankri hardly ever shut his damn mouth, Dolorosa has no problem whipping a student who steps out of line, Signless is mainly the same as Kankri and finally Porrim she's a pretty sassy type of person.

"Thup, dude, you in thome kind of trouble?" Karkat shakes his head.

"No... well yes... w-well... fuck I dunno..." He puts the bowl on the coffee table in front of the couch. "Look, I was with Equius researching about aquatic life when we found like three strange fish like creatures. One was really big and I mean really fucking big like skyscraper and shit, the other one was about your size you know he had to be a teenager and then there's this..." He takes the cloth off the bowl to revel a fish a human face but his skin was a very light shade of purple his hair was black with a purple strip through it on his head are two lightening shaped yellow horns.

"Whoa... what the fuck ith that?!"

"I don't know but Equius took the teenage one and I grabbed this one."

"Why?!"

"I don't fucking know, okay?!" He yells looking at the tall teen wearing 3D glasses. "Equius, grabbed it and he wanted to hurt it and I just took the damn thing and told him I'd get rid of it so I fucking came here. EXCUSE ME FOR THINKING MY FUCKING FRIEND WOULD BE OF ANY HELP YOU FUCKING FUCKASS!" Sollux puts his hands up in defense at the raging teen.

"Whoa, whoa calm the fuck down, KK, I don't need the neighborth calling the polithe again. Breathe, okay, jutht tell me what you want me to do." Taking a few deep breaths he calms down.

"Sorry... listen do you think you could keep the little guy in your apartment? Too many people at my house and I don't know if I should put the damn thing back in the water..." Frowning Sollux pokes at the bowl.

"Ith it dead?" He asks noticing that the fish wasn't moving.

"Fuck, what?!" Karkat picks the bowl up and looks at. "Eridan, wake up little buddy now isn't the time to be joking around, shithole!" He shouts shaking the bowl, the fish inside quickly snaps its eyes open before swimming around to the bowl.

"Kar!" He shouts looking angry, Karkat stops shaking the bowl and smiles.

"Holy fucking ass shit don't do that..." Sollux's eyes are huge as he stares at the fish in amazement.

"It might be my lack of thleep but did that damn thing jutht talk?"

"Huh?" Karkat looks at him almost as if it should be common knowledge, his eyes then widen as a sly smile spreads across his face. "Oh I see I have peaked your interest."

"KK, I will kick you the fuck out, hurry up and tell me about thith damn thing."

"Fine, fine... his name is Eridan Ampora at least I think so, that's what the other fish that Equius took called him. I think he's a baby and that's about all I know about it... oh and you can teach him how to talk. The only thing he knows right now is my name and the word fuck..."

"Fuck, Kar!" He yells smiling at Karkat, he grins at it and then looks at Sollux.

"See isn't he just the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen." Sollux couldn't help but smile at Karkat's happiness.

"Thure I guethth he ith kind of cute."

"So, will you take him?" Sollux looks at the large baby fish in the bowl, he swims around the bowl excitedly saying "Kar" and "fuck" several times as if trying to make a sentence.

"Well... what harm could it do?" Karkat's already wide smile somehow grows even wider as he hears those words.

"Eridan, look." He points at Sollux making the baby fish stop swimming and look at the teen. "That's Sollux, he'll be taking care of you for awhile."

"Fuck!" The fish smiles at Sollux as he lets out a chuckle.

"It's a good thing you're gay Karkat becauthe you'd be an awful father." Karkat flips him off.

"Shut your damn lisping face you fuck nutting asswipe." With a smirk Sollux takes the bowl.

"Tholluth." The only thing he gets is a confused look, Karkat chuckles.

"Anyways, I have to go, mom's gonna bust a nut when she sees I'm gone."

"Dude, thome day thhe'th going to get thick of your thhit and kill you. I mean fuck, KK, it'th not like thhe doethn't have three more kidth."

"Bite me , Captor." He says sticking his tongue out as he leaves, Sollux takes the bowl into his room and sets it on the nightstand.

"I'm not thure what you are or if you're to keep around..."

"Fuck!"

"Well, we'll need to teach you thome new words tomorrow. Night little guy."

He tosses the cloth over the bowland lays down in his nice warm for some well deserved rest. Around noon the next day Karkat invites himself into Sollux's apartment, the second Sollux laid eyes on him he almost dropped Eridan laughing. Karkat's normal gray pants have been replaced by Kankri's slightly larger pants that come out baggy on him and although Kankri owns sweaters that would match the color of the rainbow it seems the one given to him is Kankri's pink sweater which he used to ware to play pranks on Mituna with.

"Holy fucking thhit, KK, what hath happened to you?! Why didn't you wear that when you came out, I thought Kankri used to wear that when he would hit on Mit!?"

"FUCK OFF, ASS FUCK! FUCKING FUCK YOU SHIT SHIP GOD FUCKING PISS ASS FUCKER!"

"Fuck!"

"Eridan, no thwearing. Tho you mind ethplaining... thith?"

"Mom thought that instead of grounding me she'd have Kankri pick out my cloths and since he couldn't give two shits about what I wear he had Mituna do it. So your goddamn brother pretty much threw these damn things at me and told me to get lost." As he finishes laughing he puts Eridan down on the kitchen counter so he doesn't accidentally drop him.

"I'll have to thank Mit for making my day. Tho how are thothe two anywayth?"

"Mituna and Kankri? Oh yeah they're real fuckin' great it'd be nice if they moved out and got their own damn place but hey that's just me."

"You know Kankri thpent tonth of money to make hith room thafe for Mituna."

"Lets not forget that he spends almost every second of the day making sure he doesn't hurt himself. Trust me your brother isn't the only person to change in that accident."

Sollux bites his lip, Mituna wasn't always brain damaged he use to be normal before he was driving back from Kankri's house and a car hit his. They never found the person who hit him and with such little evidence they probably never will, before everything Kankri was a fun loving person who loved playing pranks on Mituna that ranged from too far to just far enough hardly ever doing something small unless he wasn't feeling well. All that stopped the moment Mituna got into his accident he became more sensitive to triggers of himself and others, talked in paragraphs unless Mituna told him to shut up and follows Mituna where ever he goes. Kankri also seemed to have a hair trigger now, say one insulting thing about Mituna and you'd find yourself on the ground getting your ass handed to you on a copper, sliver, and gold platter for a three coarse meal while the brain damaged man shouted words of encouragement.

"Do you want to hear what my fucking mornings are like Sollux? I get up to the sound of your brother running out of Kankri's room like a bat out of Hell while Kankri runs after him shouting for him to slow down. I then get out of bed and occasionally see Kanaya making out with Rose, I text John or you and tell him or you to go fuck yourselves then I go downstairs and I get some breakfast. Later I get a history lecture from my father then I go to school and hear the same damn lecture again!... fuck this... you wonna play some video games?" With a smile Sollux nods and brings Eridan into the living room so he can watch.


	2. Something strange

"Thtay!"

"Thtay!" Sollux shakes his head with a sigh.

"No, thtay!"

"No, thtay!"

"Damn it no not thtay, thtay!" Eridan pouts looking slightly irritated and Sollux couldn't blame him technically he was saying the words right it was just Sollux that couldn't get it right, not that it was his fault. It's been almost four months since Eridan came to live with Sollux and it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be it was actually kind of fun having the little guy around down side though is that he's been skipping tons of school.

"Fuck you!"

"Now what did I thay about repeating words you hear Karkat thaying?"

"Fuck you, shit head!"

"No, bad Eridan! No thwearing, we don't call people thhit headth! How about we try thomething else until KK getth off of thchool to teach you wordth like that." Eridan smiles

"Okay, Sol."

He says with a smile, he was so childish that Sollux loved hanging around the small fish. He gets up and flips on the TV making Eridan's eyes go wide as he floats to the side of the bowl starts watching the mindless kids cartoon. He's figured out a couple things about the fish boy one being that he has a really bad stutter that messed with his w's and v's he always had double w's and pronounced his v's as w's. Eridan is basically like a human child except aquatic and he learns things twice as fast which explains how fast he picked up Karkat's swearing, although Sollux is taking care of him he likes Karkat more. Kind of in a father son way though, the albino seems to be raking in the attention he keeps getting from the fish hell every time he walks through that door Sollux is pretty sure Eridan gives himself a concussion trying to get to Karkat.

"Eridan, I'm here!" Karkat sings as he walks through the door.

"Kar! Fuckin' shit Sol Kar's here!"

"Eridan, no thwearing!" Sollux yells from the kitchen as Karkat throws his school bag on the ground and makes his way over to the bowl and picks the excited fish up.

"Tell 'em ta fuck off, little buddy."

"Fuck off, Sol!" All Karkat hears is an irritated sigh which causes him to chuckle.

"That's right, Sollux, I'm the fun one."

"You're in a relationthhip, KK!"

"Pffffft please my boyfriend is totally not a homosexual!" Sollux shakes his head as he comes in with a handful of chopped carrots.

"What the fuck ever, man but lithten..." He drops a few carrots in the water and watches as Eridan devourers them. "I need you to teach him umm... wordth..."

"Words?"

"W-words?"

"Fuck you, KK." Sollux says rubbing Eridan's fins. "You know what I'm talking about." Eridan starts purring like a cat as he rubs his horns.

"That's fucking weird." Karkat says watching the fish grin.

"Yeah I'm actually really happy to thee him eating."

"Has he been skipping meals?" Sollux nods.

"Yeah, he'th been eating in morningth thometimeth but lately he'th been refuthing to eat." Looking in the bowl Karkat can see Eridan only ate three of the ten little carrot slices Sollux gave him.

"What's wrong, Eri, not feeling good?" Eridan pouts and goes silent.

"Thee what I'm talking about? I'm jutht not thure if thith ith healthy for him, I mean what if thomething'th making him thick? We wont be able to do anything about it but thtill I'm really worried about him."

"Huh..." Karkat smiles. "Well, we'll cross that bridge later, okay? Right now lets go teach you those words."

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

"You are going to fail this fucking semester if you don't start coming to school!" Karkat yells as Sollux sits in the bathtub with his pants on while Eridan weakly swims around the water.

"Look at him, KK, he'th not right, I really think thomething'th wrong."

"I see that but seriously, dude, my mom almost came down here with me because she's 90% sure you're dying." Sollux splashes Eridan as the tired fish leans his scalely self on Sollux's stomach. "Holy fucking shit are you fucking ignoring me?! You asshat, I'm trying to stop you from fucking failing WHY NOT SHOW A BIT OF GRATITUDE?!"

"KK, calm the fuck down I'm jutht trying to help him out, he'th acting really thtrange..." Karkat kneels down and strokes Eridan's fins.

"He does look kind of... gray now that you mention it... maybe Kanaya could help..."

"Oh yeah." He laughs. "What the hell are you gonna tell her? 'Hey, Kankan I wath wondering if you'd be okay with looking after thith fithh I found with a human fathe'. Hehheh yeah that'll play out well."

"Fuck yourself hard in the face, you piss cake fuck monk."

"... what?"

"Piss monk..." Eridan mumbles weakly, Sollux rubs his back genitally with his finger.

"Come on now, what'd I thay about thwearing?"

"Not to..." He mumbles.

"That'th right." He says scooping the young fish up in his bowl before standing up and getting out of the bathtub. His feet splatter on the ground as he leaves a trail of water walking out of the bathroom, Karkat follows avoiding the water.

"Where the mother fuck are you going? Go get your fucking uniform on and hurry up for school."

"KK, I really can't leave him, he'th really thick." Karkat shakes his head.

"Listen..." He walks up to Sollux as the red and blue eyed teen sits on the couch and stares at the bowl worriedly, he places his hands on Sollux's shoulders. "You never know this might be normal for him, maybe this is something they just go through. So I think you should just leave it alone unless it gets worse."

"The fuck are we going to do then?"

"I don't fuckin' know, Sollux, I'm trying to make you feel better now get off your ass and go get dressed!" Figuring that Karkat wasn't going to leave until he gets what he wants Sollux decides he should go to school.

"The whole day?"

"He liketh the tub."

"You will be a raisin by the end of the day besides with all the homework you have piled up you may as well kiss your weekend buh bye." Karkat gives a small waves as he watches Sollux's relaxed expression become one of horror.

"Fuck. Me. HARD!"

"Maybe after your homework... if you're a good boy that is." Karkat teases.

"Do you kithth your mother with that mouth, KK?"

"Every single motherfuckin' day." Sollux rolls his eyes as they enter the school.

"But Taaaaaaaaaaav!" The first thing the two see is their stoner friend, Gamzee, talking to his lover, Tavros,

"No means uh no, Gamzee." Karkat attempts to sneak away is spotted by the messy haired teen, he gets a large grin as he reaches over and grabs Karkat's shirt dragging him over to the pair.

"Karbro, help a motherfucker out will ya?" Karkat squirmed in his grasp but everyone knew that there are two people in this school that when they get their mits on you, you're toast. Gamzee and Vriska, both of which were connected to none other than the lovely Tavros Nitram.

"I don't even fucking know what's going on, let me go!"

"G-Gamzee!" Tavros covers Gamzee's mouth as he opens it to explain the situation. "There's no need to get them involved, th-this is between us." Gamzee moves Tavros' hand.

"How am I supposed to to tell him then?"

"You're not!" He yells stomping his foot. "We are not doing this Gamzee, not in school!" Karkat stares at the two while Sollux leaves to go talk to some of his teachers about his work.

"Thorry, KK, you're on your own." Karkat doesn't even notice Sollux leave.

"Are you two fighting?"

"Nah, man, we just havin' a bit of a disagreement right now."

"That's a fight... Gamzee..." Tavros says rubbing his forehead, Gamzee lets go of Karkat but the albino doesn't leave as he watches his best friend start digging in his pocket.

"Ya need your headache medicine, Tav?"

"Please?" He says holding out his hand, Gamzee finally pulls out a green pill bottle and gives Tavros two small white pills. While Tavros takes those Gamzee decides to catch Karkat up.

"Well, as ya know finals are comin' up and uh lets just say my grades are uh..."

"Crap." Tavros says turning around after taking the pills. "Complete and total crap. So until you raise them I refuse to do anything other than study with you."

"BUT TAV THE MAKE OUTS!" Karkat couldn't help but feel bad for Tavros sometimes, he seemed to fall in love with the loudest most needy person in this school.

"Fuck the make outs Gamzee, I don't want you faiAAAAGGGHH!" Tavros almost screamed grabbing his head, Gamzee quickly wraps his arms around his lovers waist to help him stay upright.

"Tavbro!" Panic was clearly heard in Gamzee's voice as Tavros uses him for support.

"Ow... my head... c-could you help me to the class room, Gamzee?"

"Fuck that shit! You're goin' to the nurses office."

He says lifting Tavros up and carrying him away bridal style. Karkat is simply left there to stare at them as they leave together and wonder... what the fuck just happened? Not the headaches, he knew about that. They started up shortly after he started dating Gamzee, doctors are still running tests to make sure it's not life threatening but as long as Tavros takes his medicine he's perfectly fine.


End file.
